Coffee and silence makes me happy. Sitting on the porch while it rains makes me happy. Listening to my boys sing while they are playing a video game makes me happy. Having my youngest come running up to me and grab my face and say "I uv oo mom" makes me happy. Watching my daughter dance and get lost in the music makes me happy. Watching Mafia movies with my husband makes me happy. Chocolate cake with chocolate frosting MAKES ME HAPPY!
Our family makes us happy but it's not their job to make us happy. It's our job to make ourselves happy. We determine if we're going to be happy in any given situation and on any given day. We can do this by establishing a few routines in our lives.
1. Habit of a Morning Routine
Waking up before the kids and starting your day with a routine is almost a must.
During this time, you can exercise, meditate, pray, read your Bible, or start a load of laundry. Basically you can use this time to get your day started before the demands of life begin.
Don't over complicate it, the point is to be awake and get going.
5 Tips for Becoming an Early Riser
2. Habit of Self-Care
Self-care for moms is a requirement. Whether you're a SAHM, WAHM or if you work outside of the home. All moms need to include the habit of self-care in their schedules. Taking care of yourself doesn't make you selfish, it means you matter too. You can't do it all and never rest. It's unhealthy and it's setting yourself up for failure. Trying to juggle a family, a home and a job is exhausting.
In Girl, Stop Apologizing, Rachel Hollis says "If I prioritize myself and make sure that I am centered then everything will run smoothly". I fully believe this. Taking care of yourself is like breathing life into your family.
Self-Care Ideas for Moms
3. Habit of Planning
Making a plan doesn't mean that you have to stick to it but at least you have a direction to go in. Actually the biggest part of a plan is knowing when it's not working and scrapping it and moving on to the next part or phase.
Planning sometimes looks like just ditching the plan altogether and being spontaneous.
Either way you're fine but as Benjamin Franklin said "Failing to plan, is planning to fail."
10 Habits to Increase Your Productivity at Home
4. Habit of Perspective
Everyone has a bad day every now and then. It can feel like Alexander and the Terrible Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day sometimes. The difference between Alexander and you though is that he's a kid and you're an adult. He doesn't understand perspective.
It's truly up to you to decide if you are having a bad day or are you making it a bad day. You get to decide what your perspective is going to be. You control your emotions, they don't control you.
How to Find the Blessing in the Everyday
5. Habit of Asking for Help
This is a hard one sometimes, but it is a game changer for sure. If you can put aside your thoughts of being a burden, thoughts of showing weakness, or thoughts of losing control then you can move forward and not be buried under the daily stresses of motherhood.
Help can look like delegating to your husband or children. You don't have to do it all. Help can also look like sharing carpool with another mom or maybe taking turns with the kids to get some work done.
Whatever it looks like for you, asking for help doesn't make you weak it makes you wise.
6. Habit of Setting Boundaries
Goodness this is a hard one too sometimes. Moms are pulled in a million directions and the more kids you have the more you are needed. The word NO is a great word to help with keeping your boundaries.
Boundaries might look like a strict calendar or schedule for your family so you can be organized. They might look like a set bedtime for the kids so you and your husband can have some quiet time. They might look like saying you need more time to think about it before you commit to something extra.
Boundaries help us remember where our circus is and who are monkeys are.
A Busy Mom's Guide to Saying No
7. Habit of NOT Mom Shaming
What is mom shaming? It's a politically correct way of saying judgement of other moms.
Didn't you just think "Ain't nobody for time for that". Yep that's why you're my people! Moms that are so busy trying to get everything done don't have time to wonder why other moms aren't doing things the same way they are.
Happy moms take the time to find the good in all things and lift up other moms when they need a pep talk. They don't judge, they don't shame, they just inspire with their words and with their actions.
Please notice that nowhere on the list is: the habit of having a neat home. Granted a clean living room without a slew of toys would be nice. But I also want a home that can be messed up and still be a happy place for everyone. I can do that by choosing to be happy myself. I've said it before, moms set the tone of the house. Choose to be happy mama!
As always, I'm praying for you!